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current maostate during this volunteer work, i got myself two younger brothers! haha... to be honest, it was pretty heart breaking. such wonderful children in a less fortunate situation. but i have to give two tumbs up to Green Gecko and other organizations that have helped with the situation in Siem Reap. 3 years ago, when i first visited Cambodia, it left me with the impression that there were many children roaming, working and begging on the streets. but these time round, there were hardly any left. apparently they have managed to adopt about 60% of the street kids. i look forward to going back to Siem Reap and work with them again and other organizations. and to see my two younger brothers of course! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- it has been so long since i last updated this site... 4 and a half month gone by in a blink - with don moving here and moving back to USA. How do you condense what-seems-like-a-lifetime experience into one short story? No, just because don has left, it doesn't mean it's over between us. The truth is actually quite the opposite. I think he was totally unprepared for the big move to asia. so things were a bit gloomy, bumpy, uphill, downhill, roller-coster ride and scary. but now that he had lived here for a bit, the next time when he wants to make the move again, he will be ready. living together had also made me realized that i have so so much to learn - habits, expectations, commitment and sharing spaces. i've been so used to "my own space, my own time" for so long, that it took quite a while to adjust. but now, suddenly, i am not used to having dinner on my own anymore.... or watching favourite reality tv on my own... or having a quite empty bedroom.... or having free weekends. 4 and a half month is not a long time. but it was not a short time either to get used to changes. at first he couldn't stand most of the smell and sight of asian food, but he left here pretty asian himself. and i have gotten so used to having him around. now, i am left wondering - what's our next step? ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- it's a tough beginnng.... he had one interview so far and that didn't turn out well too. so that puts him off and now he wants to go home. i don't know, i just feel that this time, he is set in an anti-everything mode in his head. he just refuses to accept the differences and changes. it's like a body rejecting a new foreign kidney. maybe it's an american thing - "everything should run like the bloody U.S of A". of course it's tough for him to give up everything and come here. i keep telling myself to give him more time to adjust and getting use to everything. but at the same time, i feel helpless. i am not giving up, of course. i'm just saying - it's a very tough beginning. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- it takes a lot to be in a long distance relationship. but it takes even greater effort, to make it lasts this long. if we had met at a very different time, if we had been younger, this vast distance would not have worked. we would have fallen in love just the same, but eventually i would have swayed. and you would have given up. but lucky us, we met at the right time and it worked out for us. it does feel like a really long time in the past 2 years but soon it will be over. this relationship is finally anchoring down to stay. in a matter of weeks, we shall be living and having a whole new life together. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- perhaps she is putting up a bold front, perhaps she has willed herself to be fearless. but she isn’t invincible. the path taken is reckless, yet so distinctively familiar. i see a shade of my younger self in her. wilful and unapologetically seeking for intimacy and relationship. it is a route so unwisely taken, yet, nevertheless inevitable. who am i to say “don’t” when i had been down that same path aimlessly before? beneath the prideful shield, she listens to no one, she heeds no warning. falls, there will be many but she will recover. the cycle may be vicious but shall be conveniently retaken. likewise a vehicle with no brakes, it has to run its own full course before, eventually, coming to a halt of crash and burn.... ---------------------------------------------------------------------- bornfire went really well, so that's brilliant. fireflys' Black had a mix review, so it wasn't that bad. i don't know... maybe i had too high an expectation of what our performance could be. but when your show is right before the great POISM of Japan, you kinda knew people would compare. or worse, totally forget about our show! but i have to say, they are really really fantastic twirlers and performers. watch their fantastic video here! strange enough, this time round, i felt much less attached to bornfire. maybe because this is the second year, it fails to amaze as much as the first time. i know we should still give ourselves a pat on the back for the great success, but me and xin were just too exhausted to feel all fabulous. bornfire artists proceeded to krabi after the festival, kind of like a post festival party. and we had so much fun. its great that most of the artists were there - antti, chris, imakokode, loch, zazi and the rest of us. which adds up to nearly about 30 people. for me, the best part was having bryan there. it's good to have him back. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- check out chris bennett 's paintings on his web. it's beautiful and really cool ----------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------- this is not a blog. well, not really. i do enjoy reading blogs but i just don't write that way - documenting events. my thoughts are pretty random - sometimes it comes in pictorial forms and sometimes, a week late. |
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