current mao state
inevitably changes gonna come.

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loss
which is a bigger loss?
the man that i could have spent the rest of my life with,
a very close friend who betrayed and disappointed me greatly,
or my beloved grandparents whom i grew up with?

that's a lot to loose in 18 months, isn't it?

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donald
all previous entries, i shall learn to leave behind...
the story of you and i, that we once shared
to the world, it seemed like we had it all.
christmases, birthdays and holidays,
spending days together, travelling different places,
throwing parties and attending dinners,
hanging out with friends and dreaming of getting rich,
simple things in life may be the greatest joy
to someone else, i may really have it all
but they don't mean anything, now that you're gone.
looking back, we did have it all.
just for once, we had it all...

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2 nights, 4 years apart...
it's been 4 years and here we go again,
cuddling together under the sheets,
how could you be the way you are all these time?
how could you be so hot and so cold at the same time?
you said, let's get married and move somewhere else
you could start a business and i could do my paintings
telling me these beautiful stories of a possibly future.
yet when the morning came, you left as a stranger.

now, i see you with that trophy boy of yours,
he's so young and thin with pocelain skin,
sitting next to him, i fell flat in comparison
you spoke to him like a caring father figure,
and he laughed so easily at everything that you said.
then you asked me what was i thinking when i thought of you?
and i bit the bullet in the face of your trophy boy.

how can i answer you in full honesty
when i can't tell apart when i'm in and when i'm out?
it's been 4 years and i think i know what's in yr head
nothing has really changed with what we do to each other
chasing tails and skirting around what we want
if only we could stop running for a while and look around,
i don't know but my answer may have always been you.

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this is not a blog. well, not really. i do enjoy reading blogs but i just don't write that way - documenting events. my thoughts are pretty random - sometimes it comes in pictorial forms and sometimes, a little too late.